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Sat, Apr 01, 2006

'We've Had One Of Them Fancy Spaceplanes Fer Years'

Tennessee ANG Wonders What All The Fuss Is About

04.01.06 'Special' Edition: Recently, an aeronautical publication ran an article stating they had "considerable evidence" of the existence of the oft-rumored 'spaceplane', code-named "Blackstar," that many conspiracy theorists speculate has been flying dark-ops missions for the Pentagon for several years.

Although the existence of such a aircraft was later disputed -- with the aforementioned publication enduring widespread criticism for publishing such a story -- the news still made the rounds among the general media for several days. Eventually, however, all the hulabaloo died down...

... But only because none of those reporters thought to look in Tennessee.

"We've been wonderin' what all the fuss was about," Lt. Joe "Bob" Reynolds told ANN, pointing across the tarmac to a sleek aircraft painted black as midnight. "We've had one of them fancy spaceplanes fer years."

Reynolds then gave ANN an exclusive first-look at the spacecraft -- codenamed "Project Jimmy Ray" -- that the young lieutenant says has been operating with the Tennessee Air National Guard for the last 13 years.

"One day, there was a knock on the barracks door," Reynolds explained. "Standing there was an officer, dressed all fancy-like. I says 'Hey colonel, there's some Yankee here sayin' somethin' about a new airplane.' Turns out the military wanted us to watch over this here fancy thingamagijit, because too many people were hovering around Area 51."

"No one would ever think to look in Tennessee," Reynolds added. "Hell, you're the first reporters who've wanted to make the trip."

The aircraft has a blunted delta-wing shape, with what appears to be a small payload bay behind the flightdeck. Three rocket nozzles project from the rear of the craft.

"She'll go faster than a good smellhound after a badger," said Reynolds, patting the aircraft's starboard wing with proud affection.

On average, he says, the spaceplane flies about six times a year on unspecified missions. During most of its stay with the Tennessee ANG, however, Project Jimmy Ray sits at the far side of the airfield, in an unmarked hangar the craft shares with its sleek XB-70-based launch aircraft -- dubbed "Earl."

Unfortunately, the ANN reporter assigned to this story was unable to even gain access to the hatch leading up to the cockpit... but rumor has it that ANN Editor-In-Chief Jim Campbell has been granted permission to perform a flight test in the near future, that may include an orbital excursion.

ANN will bring you full details (Jim wrote a seven-part series about flying the Eclipse 500... imagine what he'll do with this) as soon as they become available.

FMI: www.angspaceplane.com

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