It's OK, Though, Because They're Federal Screeners

Another day, another screwup. Listening to the stories of inconvenienced travelers, evacuated terminals, mixed-up bags, and ineffective searches, you'd think it was a year ago.

A year ago, you recall, we were all in terrible danger of terrorists' sneaking stuff onto airliners, in their desperate and continued effort to blow the big birds up (even though that's not what happened on September 11).

Thanks to billions of our tax dollars' being poured into a whole new agency, and thanks to a rigorous applicant-screening process to hire only the most credit-worthy women and minorities, followed by a perfectly-balanced 40-hour training course, we were assured by that Transportation Security Administration that things would be ever-so-much better.

With more screeners than ever before, and with those screeners' being paid twice what they were paid as civilian workers [they made $8.05/hr to start, when they worked for Huntleigh; but they still got 40 hours' training --ed]; and with airport security czars' making nearly as much as US Senators, we were supposed to be convinced that our airports would be safe portals through which we could pass, with minimal hassle and maximum security.

As if the human-factor changes weren't enough, we were also to be herded through advanced machines, to make sure we weren't smuggling any dynamite (or chocolate, or bologna) aboard. Absent the super-high-tech machines, dogs would sniff our luggage. We'd be 'safe.'

Oh -- and to avoid having our luggage locks' being broken, as our luggage was broken into, we were supposed to leave our luggage unlocked -- even if we were traveling to the rifle range. The better to steal and trash our stuff, we suppose.

In the past year, and after the TSA's costly and intrusive improvements have been put in place, the agency has a lot to show for its efforts: buckets of nail clippers, hundreds of golf clubs, and (nearly) a Medal of Honor have become eligible to go home, with anointed screeners and their bosses. A few hundred weapons -- real weapons -- have also been found; but none of those weapons, apparently, was carried by someone who was planning to do harm with them. [Why some people "forget" they are carrying a gun, for instance, in their gym bag is one of life's eternal mysteries --ed.]

Sea-Tac: microcosm of ineptitude

Last Sunday, a screener fell asleep at his post, and wasn't discovered sleeping for possibly an hour and a half. The screener (not the supervisor) was fired. The chair where the screener had been sleeping was removed last week. Now, they'll have to sleep, standing up.

Anyway, it happened again this weekend: the overstaffed TSA's overpaid workers screwed up.

A lady passing through 'security' at Sea-Tac on Sunday had something suspicious-appearing in her bag. The crack TSA-ers recognized a toolbox, and set it aside, to be looked through. Unfortunately, they set the wrong bag aside for search. She then picked up her (other) bag and proceeded to her gate, and three concourses had to be evacuated.

As always, nothing bad happened; but the TSA's incompetence managed to screw up several hundred travelers' plans.

FMI: www.tsa.gov