Would Mean The End To Protracted Contract Negotiations

ANN April 1st Special Coverage

Saying they are tired of endless contract negotiations, the International Brotherhood of Teamsters announced today that they are joining with ALPA, AFA-CWA, and other unions in the execution of hostile takeovers of all domestic airlines.

“We really run these businesses, and we don’t need any stinking management,” said Teamsters president James P. Hoffa. “We’ve just gotten fed up with the endless rounds of contract negotiations that keep our unionized brothers and sisters marginalized as second-class citizens while the top managers run them into the ground and get golden parachutes. It’s time for working people to take control of this vital transportation sector.”

Airline shareholders fought vigorously to maintain control of the companies, but the unions managed to thwart them at every turn. “We’ve had this operation in the works for a long time, and we decided April 1st was the perfect time to execute our plan,” Hoffa said.

In a news release, the National Mediation Board said that it was concerned about its future, but understood the union’s frustration. The sales will require federal approval, but a White House insider not authorized to speak to the media but with knowledge of the move said that it was unlikely there would be much fuss. “We know on which side our bread is buttered,” the source said.

FMI: www.teamsters.org