Zuckerberg: We See A War Coming, And Google Is In Our Sights

ANN April 1 Special Edition

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has acquired several surplus military aircraft in anticipation of what he says is likely to be an all-out war for control of the Internet with arch-rival Google.

Zuckerberg took advantage of a recent auction in Albania to acquire several Soviet-era military aircraft, including the six Mig 21s and four Mi-4 helicopters that were put on the block. He has also quietly acquired a B-52 from the boneyard in Arizona.

But perhaps the most significant purchase was the USS Enterprise aircraft carrier from the U.S. Government. The “Big E” is still a commissioned ship, but has been inactive for years. Zuckerberg did not disclose the price paid for the nation’s first nuclear aircraft carrier, but said the Navy was secretly pleased to not see her sold for scrap.

But the larger questions is why? Well with both Google and Facebook looking to use HALE drones to provide Internet connectivity, Zuckerberg says he sees and all-out war coming. “Google has warplanes,” he said. “They’ve got an L-39 Albatros, an Alpha Jet, and an F-86 Sabre. We had to be in a position to defend our market share. And with the Big E on our side, we can park off the coast of California in a show of force to those search-engine guys. We’re also looking at a submarine.”

But Zuckerberg has not forgotten the legions of Facebook users who have made him wealthy enough to buy an aircraft carrier and the airplanes to make it a viable war machine. “Anybody who Likes and Shares a picture of the Big E or any of our airplanes on Facebook will be entered into a contest for a ride in the airplane of their choice,” Zuckerberg said. “And 500  will be chosen at random for conscription … er … the chance to be a part of the Enterprise crew. And oh-by-the-way … we’re looking for pilots … so if you have any flying experience, come be a part of the Facebook team.”

FMI: www.facebook.com