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Sat, Apr 01, 2006

Cirrus Sued Again... For Alienation of Affection

04.01.06 'Special' Edition: In yet another example of a GA manufacturer being implicated as liable for just about anything, the National Enquirer is suing Cirrus Aircraft for alienation of affection on behalf of movie star Jennifer Aniston.

Believe it or not, the claimants assert that Angelina Jolie's ownership of an SR22 is ultimately responsible for the breakup of Aniston and Pitt's marriage.

According to a spokesman for the National Enquirer, "Cirrus produces a reliable, efficient product that has given Ms. Jolie a feeling of freedom and empowerment. We feel this freedom has affected other areas of her life and empowered her to take on even greater challenges (such as Mr. Pitt)."

"Obviously, this sense of empowerment and freedom makes Cirrus culpable for the breakup of Mr. Pitt and Ms. Aniston. Unless Cirrus changes to outdated, uninspired designs we will litigate them out of existence."

"Out of our long-term concern for the health and welfare of of our good friend, Ms. Aniston, suing the home-wrecking airplane company responsible for this travesty seemed the only Christian thing to do," added the Enquirer Spokesperson.

Cirrus Design's Alan Klapmeier, responding to the suit publicly (after enduring nearly an hour of non-stop laughter), and against the advice of counsel noted that, "we've had to deal with some really ridiculous lawsuits over the years... and this is certainly one of them, but if I have to get blamed for something, this one is pretty cool. Regardless, we will defend ourselves vigorously and none-the-less invite Ms. Jolie to come by Duluth and get a gander at our new personal jet... if she was so 'empowered' by the SR22, this new aircraft should get us blamed for much, much more."

FMI: www.cirrusdesign-gets-blamed-again.com

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