But Uses Real Americans... Not Gym Club Or Dance Troupe
Members
04.01.06 'Special' Edition: In an unprecedented
adjustment to the typical development cycle of a new airliner,
Boeing announced last week the company would conduct what was
described as a "preliminary evacuation exercise" of its upcoming
787 Dreamliner.
The tests, conducted early Saturday morning, utilized a
full-scale mock-up of the 787's fuselage and what Boeing described
as "real American citizens, not those handpicked 'evacuees' our
friends across the pond used for the whalejet."
The result? All 262 passengers and crew were evacuated
relatively safely from the Dreamliner cabin mockup... in 34 minutes
and 17 seconds.
In the days leading up to the drill, Boeing said it would use
"real people, with real issues" selected from among those waiting
in line to tour Boeing's Everett, WA plant. Denizens of a local
Wal-Mart were also among chosen to participate in the test.
Much of the 34-minute delay Saturday was caused by a Highland
Park, TX woman who couldn't find her lipstick, and refused to leave
the simulator until she found it -- thus holding up 87 passengers
behind her, waiting to deplane through one of the Dreamliner
mock-up's two overwing exits.
While those passengers would be almost assuredly doomed had the
evacuation been an actual emergency, in the drill they were instead
treated to a half-hour-long running commentary of said search,
given by the woman as she talked on her cell phone.
Boeing reports approximately 127 participants were injured
in the evacuation exercise -- including 43 who suffered fractured
limbs tripping over the supersized "carry-on" luggage strewn
throughout the darkened cabin. An additional 74 people suffered
minor gluteal trauma when the evacuation slides deflated due to
exceeding their rated weight limit.
There was one fatality -- although details were unavailable
at press time, eyewitnesses state Boeing employees were quick to
cover the body, with only a hand clutching a cell phone visible
under the tarp.
"We knew we were in for
some difficulties when we discovered nearly all of the participants
we pulled had flown in, via Southwest, on a group-saver fare from
Omaha," Boeing Commercial Airplanes President and CEO Alan Mulally
said.
"Before we continue development on the Dreamliner, however, we
felt we needed an accurate assessment of a realistic passenger
evacuation scenario... and this way, inelegant as it may seem, gave
us that data."
There are unofficial reports the study was, in fact,
commissioned by the Dallas-based LCC, as the airline looks ahead to
replacing its fleet of Boeing 737s and possible overseas expansion,
upon repeal of the Wright Amendment.
Sources within the Boeing supplier network, however, said
Northwest Airlines -- one of only two domestic carriers to have
Dreamliners on their order books (the other is Continental) --
requested the evacuation drill, in order to ascertain
(theoretically, of course) how a typical compliment of passengers
from Northwest's hub in Minneapolis would be able to evacuate a
Dreamliner that was recently serviced by nonunion mechanics.
While Boeing said the tests met internal expectations and would
not be repeated in the near future, the less-than-stellar results
come as a disappointment to the company -- especially as rival
Airbus conducted a successful evacuation of its upcoming A380
superjumbo last weekend, deplaning 873 passengers in less than 80
seconds.
While one "evacuee" suffered a broken leg in the ordeal, and 32
others suffered minor injuries, not one of the handpicked members
of Toulouse gymnasiums and dance troupes was killed in the A380
test.
"I knew we shouldn't have allowed those Southwest passengers who
had to buy two seats to get their fat butts here from Omaha," said
one Boeing source close to the exercise.