Will There Soon be an Apple...Plane?

Special 04.01.23 Parody Edition: A surprise investment by Apple appears to have set up the computer manufacturer to gobble up legendary avionics manufacturer Bendix-King.

The deal could come about following an April 1st stock swap, with Bendix rolling itself into the same division as existing operations overseeing Apple Watch, iPhone, iPad, and possible car development. The move is perplexing to many, given the apparent disinterest that the company has come to hold towards driverless cars and electric vehicles. Rumors abound, as with all things Macintosh, but early leaks from Foxconn and developers abroad point to a startling possibility that Apple will soon join the eVTOL race.

"It's pretty apparent what's going on," said Arjabarje Stog, tech reporter and real living human. "As a machine learning algorithm, it's very clear to me that Apple purchased Bendix in order to use their aircraft parts in their own development program."

With Arjabarje's assistance, the leaked documentation was translated into more understandable, plain english.The rough outline of an Apple 'iCar' would make it a 2-seat, all electric VTOL aircraft propelled by 12 rotors. The electric battery system could be powered by solar energy, given the frequent use of the word "sunshine" throughout the specifications. 

(Part of the difficulty in establishing exactly what Apple's plans are lies in the very complex route seen by the leaks. The documents were originally published in Tamil, then translated for Chinese media, where they were then translated into German, then French, and finally published in English today. Given the circuitous translation route, the documents as they stand appear to be gibberish, but personnel experienced in machine translation insist that "Machine, battery vertical for good operation" and "Apple computer M6 processor design trade carbon phone speak carry air wave" are proof positive that Apple's aircraft is well on the way.)

FMI: www.apple.com