Thu, Apr 01, 2004
Aircraft Configuration Becomes Political Issue
As the 2004 presidential campaign continues into what promises
to be a long, hot political summer, the American symbol of peace
and democracy has become something of a hot-button item. At issue:
the Bush administration's plans to reconfigure the aircraft.
"I believe the aircraft should reflect the president," said
Chief of Staff Andrew Card. "Therefore, we're researching the
installation of a second right wing."
The Boeing Company, maker of the highly-modified 747-200B,
confirmed this week that it is expending a great deal of the
company's resources toward making the president's request a
reality.
"We figure it this way," said Boeing CEO Harry Stonecipher.
"We've been up to our necks with scandals. Kissing up to the
administration by reconfiguring Air Force One to fly with two right
wings might just get us out of dutch with the White House. Better
that than seeing the tanker deal go to Airbus."
White House sources say the president's men came up with the
plan after learning that Massachusetts Senator John Kerry, planned
to trade the blue and white Air Force One for something a little
sportier and a little cheaper to fly. "We had been thinking about
an Aeronca Champ," admitted one source inside the Democratic
candidate's organization.
"John Kerry is wrong on jobs, wrong on defense and wrong on Air
Force One," said GOP consultant Scott Reed.
Is the idea of flying with two right wings practical? "You know,
only a treasonous, snot-nosed liberal would ask a question like
that," said Reed. "The real question is whether the airplane really
needs a left wing at all."
"We're looking into that as well," confirmed Boeing spokesman
Tom Brantman.
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