TFRs Continue To Be Exploited For Corrupt, Non-Security Reasons

By ANN Senior Correspondent Kevin R.C. "Hognose" O'Brien

To hear the TSA (referred to herein as the security mafia) tell it, Temporary Flight Restrictions are vital to national security. Security-based TFRs (as opposed to those sensible TFRs around, say, wildfires, to let the firefighters work) have a long and sordid history. Two might-as-well-be-permanent TFRs over Disney theme parks illustrate something everybody understands: American legislators are for sale, it's only the price that is in question.

The TFR over West Virginia this weekend may be an example of another unjustified TFR, but in this case, the motive seems to be peace and quiet for a playland retreat for select Congressional tuskers.

A gaggle of Congressional names and staffers, wives, girlfriends and boyfriends is descending on a ritzy resort,The Greenbrier, for a weekend of R&R, and, uh, yeah, policy, that's it, policy. I guess we can tell it's fiscally conservative Republicans and not free-spending Democrats, because they're going to Greenbrier in winter when rates are lower: a mere $1,372 a day for the cheapest suite. In season, that would be $1,852, so I guess Frist, Hastert and the boys want us to believe they are saving us almost $500 each by not waiting till July to unwind. Why, if three of them go now instead of in August, they've saved enough to buy a GI a set of Interceptor body armor.

This picture, from The Greenbrier website, shows what your hard working solons are up to this weekend. It's easy to see how the presence of mere peasants buzzing about in airplanes could detract from this vital national activity:

The Greenbrier tells us that "our holistic treatments harness natural essences and minerals to offer a distinctive rejuvenating experience. Our highly personalized packages are designed to reduce stress, enhance your lifestyle, and let you enjoy the pampering you deserve." Ah, that's just what Congress needs -- as if they weren't rapaciously dedicated to "enhancing their lifestyles" 24/7/365. I don't know about you, but I don't think they need any rejuvenation. Since they flip-flopped on term limits ten years ago, the only way we get any fresh blood in there is when one of them finally expires -- when old age and a lifetime of evil deeds overcome the best efforts of the military doctors who should be treating our troops.

But hey, maybe Congress deserves a break too. While the inclement weather has closed the outdoor pool (Alas! Alack!) you will be glad to know that there is an Olympic-size indoor pool "adjacent to the ... Rhododendron Spa Cafe, where guests may enjoy their favorite beverages." I bet nobody's favorite is the $6 a bottle vodka that military Exchange Service Class Six stores flog to the GIs, who can't afford, shall we say, Congressional standard booze. As The Greenbrier (the snooty capitalized article is theirs) says, there's nothing like the "warmth and refreshment of an indoor pool." I think I actually saw this one in the DVD of Spartacus, where some old Roman pervert is asking Tony Curtis how he feels about oysters and snails. There's probably a lot of that going on at The Greenbrier this weekend:

Now, some have speculated that as the President himself may attend this gathering, (1) there may actually be some work getting done, and (2) a TFR is necessary to protect the President. Some have also suggested that President or no, (3) a TFR is necessary to protect the precious Congressmen (and staffers, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends, etc).

Perhaps they are working: It's hard to imagine the abstemious President Bush indulging in the sybaritic bacchanalia of Congressmen, after all. But we're already paying for offices (and staffers, and oysters, and... don't get me started). Judging from the amounts they spend on office maintenance and decoration, it's unlikely that there's some long-overlooked problem with their offices' fitness for the purpose. As far as the necessity of TFRs to protect precious politicians, does anyone remember this phrase: "We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal..."?

If you answered YES to the question above, it's a safe bet that you don't work in Washington.

The politicians, and the payroll patriots who serve them, have forgotten that they are mere citizens who are raised up, not by divine right, nor by a satrap's grant of patents of nobility, but by the collective will of the common people, as expressed in an election. They have lost the understanding that they, too, are common people. As a result, they are unwilling to share the risks that are imposed upon those common people, and instead insulate themselves behind various mechanisms of isolation. Like TFRs.

This crossroads of moral and physical cowardice is inhabited by politicians of both parties -- I recall Sen. Mark Dayton closing his Washington office and taking headlong flight when he feared terrorists might strike Washington. I can never see his quivering mug these days without a chorus of "Brave, Brave Sir Robin" playing in my head.

I'll accept that the President is a special case -- not because he is more elevated than a citizen, but because our Constitution makes him a highly symbolic Head of State as well as a routinely replaceable Head of Government. An attack on the President -- especially an attack that succeeded in its evil intent -- would damage the nation at home and abroad. But would an attack on a bunch of partying politicians? It is hard to imagine a less critical, less useful, more dispensable component of the body politic. And The Greenbrier, for all its self-love, is hardly the World Trade Center. Millions of Americans knew victims of the WTC attack. The Greenbrier could get thrown off the planet tomorrow and it wouldn't be missed much. Not being much of a Rhododendron Bar kind of guy, I didn't know it existed till it started messing with my airspace.

And amid all this speculation about attacks, no one but pilots, and the other 2% of the country that took High School physics and passed, understands that the GA-hostile TFRs don't even do the job -- they keep small planes, that have been proven harmless in attempted suicide attacks, out, and let commercial jets, that have been proven effective in attempted suicide attacks, in. It's a solution that could only have been crafted in the opium haze of Washington, and a perfect parallel to rules that require screeners to ignore groups of more than three glowering Arabs, but dump grandmothers out of their wheelchairs.

I don't expect we will ever see a common-sense approach to TFRs. Indeed, this crowd in Congress (and the crows that follows them, whoever it may be) will continue to have them deployed for personal convenience (like this one), and to sell them to commercial interests (like the Disney anti-banner-towing perma-TFRs). You can send Mister Smith to Congress, but real life is not like Hollywood. Before you can say Jack Robinson, Smith is in the Rhododendron Bar complaining about how hard it is to schedule a good massage time.

You can bet that the Greenbrier pictures will be in my mind on April 15 (for our foreign readers, that's tax reckoning day for us). And when my eyes bug out at the number that Tony, my accountant, brings to me, I'll think of these Congressmen who selflessly avoided the high season to reduce my tax bite, and I'll know it's all worthwhile.

FMI: www.greenbrier.com