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Fri, Aug 08, 2003

They're On to the Bad Guys

FBI's List of Things to Watch For

It's not a good idea to try to put one over on the FBI. They'll figure it out, and publish a report on it.

If you're wondering why you're being treated like a terrorist, that's because the TSA's finest all have this little booklet. You can have one, too, in case you want to know what you're really looking at, as you peek into that old lady's purse.

  • A house key? Not a chance -- it's a folding knife.
  • A ballpoint pen? Wrong again, Sherlock -- it's a .22 pistol.
  • A ceramic-blade knife, transparent to x-rays, may have cost your dearly at the Kyocera factory outlet store, but you're gonna have to leave it behind (if you don't get arrested).
  • Some dummy apparently even tried to smuggle a tiny knife inside... a handgun cartridge. [Add to that, the headstamp -- on this supposed handgun cartridge -- reads, ".30-06 SPRG" --ed.] It's easier, but no smarter, to hide a knife blade in a shotgun shell; there's one example of that, too.
  • Of course, there are other "spy" tools, like the "cigarette lighter" knife. (As 'Our Man Flint' said, "It has 33 death-dealing uses... 34 if you count lighting cigarettes.")

So, when you think that the screeners are just being paranoid as they probe and humiliate 80-year-old Medal of Honor winners, think again. That Rosary may not be just to insure safe landings...

FMI: http://datacenter.ap.org/wdc/fbiweapons.pdf

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