Agency Claims It Compromises Safety 

After forcing airlines to enact crazy policies that prohibit passengers from standing up in airliners or waiting in line for the use of the toilet during long-haul flights, the TSA has just enacted a new rule that would prohibit passengers from complaining about the carrier's level of service. The agency claims those that don't like typical airline amenities like small seats, crabby flight attendants or lost baggage are disturbing the peace and causing undue aggression. For this reason, no passenger will be allowed to complain about airline service at anytime commencing from the seat is purchased until bags have been collected at the destination point.

"We must take this necessary step in the name of homeland security," said Asa Hutchinson, Under Secretary for Border and Transportation Security for the Department of Homeland Security. "Hey, we can't have people complaining about the service. Imagine the civil unrest that would cause within our transportation system.

Hutchinson claims penalties for violating the latest salvo against free speech, includes 30 days in federal prison and a $10,000 fine for each complaint uttered in the presence of an airline representative. Repeat offenders may face being blacklisted on the DHS passenger system, which 98 percent of all law-abiding Arab Americans already occupy.

In related news, US Attorney General has suggested that Congress enact the "New England Patriot Act", where anyone caught wearing football-related attire related to the New England team will be detained for an unspecified period of time

FMI: www.dhs.gov