‘I Have To Pay My Legal Bills’, The Anti-Noise Advocate Says

ANN April 1 Special Edition (Parody)

In an effort to pay her mounting legal bills, Colorado anti-noise advocate Kim Gibbs plans to open her own skydiving business and drop zone to directly compete with Mile-Hi Skydiving.

Gibbs is in the midst of a protracted legal battle with Mile-Hi, saying that the airplanes the company uses are too noisy and are destroying the quality of life in neighborhoods the airplanes fly over on skydiving missions. Her campaign has continued all the way to an appeal to the Colorado Supreme Court despite losing at every level along the way.

“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em … and try to drive them out of business,” Gibbs said “We’ll be the quietest, most eco-friendly skydiving operation in the country.”

To achieve that goal, Gibbs hopes to locate an electric-powered airplane that will be suitable for carrying skydivers on their jumps. “These people say they care about the environment and the Earth, so I’m sure that an electric airplane will be appealing to them,” she said. Even if it can’t carry very many people at a time, they’ll flock to our company if we market it correctly. Eventually, nobody will want to fly on those noisy old Twin Otters any more.”

When asked by a local reporter how viable she thought the idea really was, Gibbs was circumspect. “Probably not very, really, but as you know, I have a history of tilting at windmills. So we’ll give it a go and see how it works out.”

FMI: www.kimgibbskydiving.com