Sat, Dec 20, 2003
Christmas Eve Flight "Go"
Kris Kringle, d.b.a. Santa Claus, got the green light today from
the US Department of Transportation (DOT) to engage in air travel
to various points throughout the United States the night of Dec.
24-25. An order granting a flight certificate and signed by U.S.
Transportation Secretary Norman Y. Mineta finds that Santa Claus is
"exceptionally fit, joyfully willing and uniquely able to engage in
the interstate air transportation for which he has requested a
certificate." The Secretary added that Santa has a 100 percent
on-time arrival record, having never failed to deliver all of his
toys by Christmas morning.
Santa also disclosed that he has had some help with the arduous
task of delivering packages. He notes that for the better
part of the last century he has been greatly assisted by the
results of the wonderful invention of the Wright Brothers, who 100
years ago put together a flying machine, now refined and operating
with capabilities almost as good as Rudolf.
In his application, Santa Claus described himself as a citizen
of the world residing at the North Pole who performs a vital and
specialized transportation service. "The points to be served
are the dwelling places of good girls and boys, as well as adults
of goodwill, throughout the United States and worldwide," Claus
said in his application.
He also told the department that his sleigh will be powered by
eight tiny reindeer, with the addition of a possible ninth reindeer
equipped with a special air navigation warning light in its nose,
in the event of fog or heavy snow.
Finally, the applicant, aware of the department's heightened
security concerns, said that although he does not have a federal
air marshal on board he has asked his lead reindeer, Rudolph, to
stay especially alert.
The department said that no one has opposed the application, and
the applicant has disclosed several million letters of support from
children everywhere. "In these circumstances, it appears that
a grant of the applicant's request is in the highest public
interest," Secretary Mineta said.
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