Will Include Re-branding Of Several Model Lines
ANN APRIL 1st "SPECIAL"
EDITION: As the economy continues its trend downward,
corporations are seeking consolidation opportunities wherever
possible... but even ANN never thought we'd see this. On Wednesday,
General Motors and Textron-owned Cessna Aircraft Corporation
announced a novel co-branding agreement, that includes the merging
of the two giants' marketing divisions into one operation,
code-named "Vega."
Cessna Chairman, CEO, President, Head Chef, and Most-Exalted
Supreme Leader Jack Pelton said both companies expect to realize as
much as $400 million in annual savings by sharing print, online and
television marketing between the brands. "We can write essentially
the same copy, then cut-and-paste a photo of a plane or a car and
boom, there's an ad," he said. "Say we tout a 'highly
efficient powerplant, mated to a modern streamlined design and
fitted with sumputuous leather interior equipped with the most
modern instrumentation.' Are we talking about a plane or a car?
Exactly!"
In addition to vast synergies realized by the consolidation
effort, both entities will also work to harmonize their individual
product offerings... by dipping into the shared corporate well of
current and former model names.
"I know a lot of you have slammed GM for our so-called "badge
engineering" efforts for these past, oh wow, 30 years now," said
interim General Motors CEO Fritz Henderson, in reference to
the practice of building essentially the same vehicle and
marketing it under as many as six different makes. "Well, what if
we instead engineer the badges? Certainly the likes of Motor
Month and Car And Money can't gripe too much about
the newly-introduced Cessna 182 Del Ray."
To further the companies' "coactionary" efforts, other Cessna
aircraft lines will also be rebranded. To be introduced in 2010,
the updated Cessna 206 Caprice Classic Estate Wagon will join the
Cessna 162 Corvair, C208 Top Kick and the Citation Cimarron in
rounding out Cessna's revamped model lineup.
"We didn't feel too comfortable
with having the Caravan and Mustang in the Cessna lineups, as those
nameplates are shared with certain competitors," Henderson
explained. "Why give them free advertising? However, we do plan to
keep the C172 Skyhawk around. It's an iconic name... both in the
air, and on America's roadways as a small Buick."
That strategy works both ways, Henderson added. "We plan to
phase the Chevy Malibu out of our automotive lineup, due to its
connotations with a model offered by another planemaker," he said.
"Though we must say, we feel 'Corvalis' holds real promise as a
possible replacement name for our premium midsize sedan
offering."
In related news, Cessna's Pelton attempted to downplay rumors he
was in the running to take over as CEO of the embattled automaker.
Former GM CEO Rick Wagoner was forced to resign Monday, on request
from the White House.
"There's no way I'm pulling a Mulally," said Pelton. "I mean,
it's not like the aviation business is booming at the moment... but
an automaker???"
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