Hugh Hefner New Man On Top

04.01.05 Special Edition: Boeing Thursday decided, "why fight the trend?" and announced Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner has been appointed president and CEO.

"We looked at what happened to Harry Stonecipher and we realized that we weren't mired in scandal, we were setting a trend," said Boeing chairman Lewis Platt. "Then we wondered, 'Who do we know with enough Teflon to shake this sort of thing off?' Well, Ronald Reagan is gone, bless his soul, so the answer was easy: Hugh Hefner."

Hefner (above), is a trendsetter when it comes to free sexual expression, a sophisticated lifestyle and hedonism in general.

"He'll fit in nicely," said Platt.

At Thursday's news conference in Chicago, Boeing also unveiled its new logo -- a firm indication that Hefner's appointment is by no means temporary.

"I think Boeing is brilliant," said Hef. "I mean, let's not be hypocrites here. What happened to Harry Stonecipher can happen to anyone. But it won't happen at Boeing anymore."

Accordingly, Hefner immediately introduce his plan to allow male employees to wear fuzzy slippers and smoking jackets. Females in the workforce will now be referred to as "Boeing Bunnies" and would be encouraged to wear funny little rabbit ears and fuzzy little tails. Hefner also announced his intention to build a revolving lounge above the company's headquarters building in Chicago.

"And if you like that," Hef told reporters, "you're gonna love the way we plan to outmarket Airbus." The Boeing Bunnies flanking him blushed and giggled on cue.

Boeing stock was up $3.53 a share at the end of Thursday's trading session.

FMI: www.boeing.com