Carrier Says Americans Unwilling To Take The Jobs At What It Can Afford To Pay

ANN’s April 1 “April Fool” Edition

It may just be the tip of the iceberg, but Republic Holdings Inc. announced April 1 that it would be recruiting pilots from among the millions of undocumented aliens that are covered under President Obama’s amnesty program.

A source not authorized to speak to the media told ANN that the reason should be pretty obvious. “They can go flip burgers and McDonalds or we can put them in the cockpit of a regional jet for about the same take-home pay. Would YOU want to go home smelling like french fries every night? Besides, we’re finding it increasingly difficult to find Americans who are willing to fly the planes for what we are willing to pay.”

The source said that airline was thinking long-term, looking ahead to the demise of the Third Class medical. “Once that is gone, the driver’s licenses they’ll obtain through the President’s program will allow them to start ab-initio training. From there, we can work on getting them up through the hours they need to qualify for the cockpit. And believe me, they’ll be more than happy to have the work.”

It was not known if other regional carriers would follow Republic’s lead. But one industry analyst who requested anonymity because he hoped to continue to have his phone calls returned said that “they’re a bunch of lemmings.

All it takes is one and the rest fall right in line. Just look at what happened with all the fees that they’re charging now.”

FMI: www.republicholdings.com