Letter To The Company Says That ‘Cherokee’, ‘Apache’, ‘Seminole’, Others Are Demeaning

ANN’s April 1 “April Fools” Special Edition

A group of Democratic United States Senators has written a letter to Piper president and CEO Simon Caldecott urging him to re-brand many of the company’s iconic airplanes because the names are “demeaning" to Native Americans.

The letter, dated April 1, is similar to one sent to the NFL last summer in an attempt to convince Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder to change the name of that franchise.

In the letter, the Senators say that names like “Apache”, “Cherokee”, and “Seminole” are an insult to Native Americans, and the company should immediately re-brand the airplanes. U.S. Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY) said that the company has already obviously seen the error of its ways. “They’ve got the “M” series, so they moved away from the Native names at some point in the past.  But I’m still looking into that as well. Calling airplanes “M” might be demeaning to delicious chocolate candies that don’t melt in your hand, and that could be damaging to children everywhere.”

Senator Dianne Feinstein said that the company should use names that could not possibly be offensive to anyone. “They’re birds, so why not change “Cherokee” to “Chickadee”, “Seminole” to “Swallow”, and “Apache” to …. well … they’ve got creative marketing people. They can come up with something.”

Caldecott said that he has no intention of suggesting that the iconic Piper airplanes be renamed. “It wouldn’t make a spit in the ocean’s difference anyway. Pilots would still call a Cherokee a Cherokee, an Aztec an Aztec, a Seminole a Seminole. There are no Native groups banging at the door demanding that we change the name. And speaking of which, we’re considering a copyright infringement patent against Boeing over the “Apache”. We had that one long before they built that helicopter.”

Senate Republicans said they did not agree with the letter in the strongest possible terms, but they’d probably capitulate if it came up for a vote.

FMI: www.senate.gov, www.piper.com