Years of Diminishing Stats Have Done Their Worst...

It was probably only a matter of time, but one of the many organizations applying for President Obama's offer of economic stimulus funds includes the faltering Sun 'n Fun fly-in. Suffering years of declines due to safety issues, EAA's repudiation of significant involvement in the event over the last several years, customer service shortcomings and no small number of vendor complaints, as well as internal issues that have 'created an unprofitable if not hostile environment,' inspired SnF's Bill Eickoff to seek government funds to attempt to jumpstart the down-in-the-dumps aviation gathering.

"I have directed John Burton, after he finishes cleaning my pool, to put together a proposal for the Obama administration that is designed to seek funding for a number of areas that we feel might be improved and thereby help us attract some of the people that have given up Sun 'n Fun in favor of other more rewarding pursuits... like saving their money and going to Oshkosh," admitted Eickoff.

Stimulus funds are being requested in order to fund the most critical needs reported by the few left in attendance at the 2008 event -- among the many needs reported by those in attendance last year were safety improvements, charm school tuitions for a number of customer service personnel -- especially those dealing with exhibitors, safety improvements, parking lot improvements (including drainage), safety improvements, real accounting experts that can properly estimate crowd attendance without multiplying everything by a factor of ten, safety improvements, fuel money to attract warbirds and other high-value attendees tired of doing a lot for Lakeland without reimbursement, counseling for embattled SnF staff dealing with attendee complaints, safety improvements, a number of airplane-friendly facility improvements (included the filling of a number of taxiway potholes), a few more safety improvements, and a really big fruit basket for EAA to tell them that 'we're really sorry for being so mean to them.'

(ANN Note: A secret recording attributed to Eickoff is reported to include the phrasing, "Please come back, EAA, we won't charge you to get in the gate anymore -- well... we will give you a really big discount, maybe half off!").

Administration officials are reportedly lukewarm, at best, to the request.

Administration officials, speaking on background, noted that the stimulus funds, "are designed to aid in the economic recovery of companies, programs and infrastructure that have a snowball's chance in hell of actually succeeding in giving something back to the economy... we have a tough enough time floating billions for the auto-makers and the banking industry without throwing money at a mess like Lakeland. Who do they think they are? AIG?"

FMI: www.snfisamess.com