The Best of the 01.13.03 "Name That Frame" Caption Contest

We asked for it, and you let us have it. As usual, some of your entries were quite bizarre; but all were funny. Here's a sample of some of the best of what came in. There were a LOT more, but if we printed half of them, we'd lose our "PG" rating...

Neil: One of Boeing's early responses to Airbus.

Simeon: Pan-Am B52 - Innovative Code-sharing program finds new revenue for airlines.

Paul: "And good morning ladies and gentlemen from the flight deck. On behalf of my co-pilot, Major Firedup, and myself, Captain Nukum, I'd like to welcome you aboard Pan Am Flight 52 with non-stop service around the World ...3 times. Once our crew finishes loading the 70,000 lbs of lethal armament...and your luggage, we'll be on our way. They are telling me that all our targets today are totally unobscured, with severe clear over Baghdad , so we should be able to provide you with some spectacular explosions. I would also like to apologize in advance for the deadly rush of cold air when I open the bomb bays, and I'd ask that you please remain strapped to the fuselage for the entire flight. Again, thanks for flying Pan Am, where we 'aim' to please!"

David: ...better not taxi up to the gate Jim, those pesky security guys may want to look in the baggage compartment !

Phillip: "I knew the Air Force relied too much on contractors!!"

Montblack: Pan Am's Non-Stop service from New York to L.A. includes passenger drops at Cleveland, St. Louis, Denver, and Las Vegas. A Pan Am executive said, "Landing fees were killing us."

Bob: "... and in another unprecedented move toward peace, Iraqi president Sadam Hussain has agreed to allow US commercial airliners overflight privileges."

John: For the first time in aviation history, a combat mission will be outsourced to the private sector.  The U.S. Air Force has awarded a five year contract to PAN AM, the former civil airline which has, once again, been brought to new life by a group of private investors. The contract with an undisclosed value calls for PAN AM to deliver bombs “anywhere at anytime” around the world on behalf of the U.S. Air Force.
PAN AM has already purchased a number of surplus B-52 bombers and upgraded them to fully-operational status, including changing their outward appearance in accordance with the corporate identity of PAN AM (see picture). Rumor has it that several other American airlines in financial difficulties are exploring the possibility for this kind of additional income.”

Richard: "What do you mean, the TSA has our ordinance???"

Ody: The 'New Air Force One.'

Dennis: Trustee in Pan Am bankruptcy case requests, and gets. sanctions for the Lockerbie incident.

Loran: Due to a slight mix-up at Boeing's paint shop, you should see the 707 Pan Am got...

Doug: Late breaking news: A B-52 is missing from Wright-Patterson Air Force Base.
In other news: China buys passenger plane from Pan Am 'to Further International Relations.'

Ernie: Pan Am Air Freight: when it absolutely must get there, we deliver, anytime, anywhere, anyway! Have a nice day!

And the best of the bunch (we think) was...

Mike: Green eggs and ham, Sam I am. Eight engines and SRAMs, Pan Am I am.

FMI: ANN's 'Name That Frame' Home for the Caption-Impaired