Will Include Re-branding Of Several Model Lines

ANN APRIL 1st "SPECIAL" EDITION: As the economy continues its trend downward, corporations are seeking consolidation opportunities wherever possible... but even ANN never thought we'd see this. On Wednesday, General Motors and Textron-owned Cessna Aircraft Corporation announced a novel co-branding agreement, that includes the merging of the two giants' marketing divisions into one operation, code-named "Vega."

Cessna Chairman, CEO, President, Head Chef, and Most-Exalted Supreme Leader Jack Pelton said both companies expect to realize as much as $400 million in annual savings by sharing print, online and television marketing between the brands. "We can write essentially the same copy, then cut-and-paste a photo of a plane or a car and boom, there's an ad," he said. "Say we tout a 'highly efficient powerplant, mated to a modern streamlined design and fitted with sumputuous leather interior equipped with the most modern instrumentation.' Are we talking about a plane or a car? Exactly!"

In addition to vast synergies realized by the consolidation effort, both entities will also work to harmonize their individual product offerings... by dipping into the shared corporate well of current and former model names.

"I know a lot of you have slammed GM for our so-called "badge engineering" efforts for these past, oh wow, 30 years now," said interim General Motors CEO Fritz Henderson, in reference to the practice of building essentially the same vehicle and marketing it under as many as six different makes. "Well, what if we instead engineer the badges? Certainly the likes of Motor Month and Car And Money can't gripe too much about the newly-introduced Cessna 182 Del Ray."

To further the companies' "coactionary" efforts, other Cessna aircraft lines will also be rebranded. To be introduced in 2010, the updated Cessna 206 Caprice Classic Estate Wagon will join the Cessna 162 Corvair, C208 Top Kick and the Citation Cimarron in rounding out Cessna's revamped model lineup.

"We didn't feel too comfortable with having the Caravan and Mustang in the Cessna lineups, as those nameplates are shared with certain competitors," Henderson explained. "Why give them free advertising? However, we do plan to keep the C172 Skyhawk around. It's an iconic name... both in the air, and on America's roadways as a small Buick."

That strategy works both ways, Henderson added. "We plan to phase the Chevy Malibu out of our automotive lineup, due to its connotations with a model offered by another planemaker," he said. "Though we must say, we feel 'Corvalis' holds real promise as a possible replacement name for our premium midsize sedan offering."

In related news, Cessna's Pelton attempted to downplay rumors he was in the running to take over as CEO of the embattled automaker. Former GM CEO Rick Wagoner was forced to resign Monday, on request from the White House.

"There's no way I'm pulling a Mulally," said Pelton. "I mean, it's not like the aviation business is booming at the moment... but an automaker???"

FMI: www.gm.com, www.cessna.com