Sat, Apr 01, 2017
Purchase Of American Companies Part Of A Larger Scheme
ANN April 1 Special Edition (Parody)
President Donald Trump tweeted on April 1 that among the intelligence collected in the Russian hacking probe is evidence that China’s years-long acquisition of U.S. aviation companies is part of a more nefarious plot to completely undermine U.S. aviation.
“China crashing U.S. Aviation? Why else would they be buying all those companies … and we now have PROOF!” the President said on social media.
Communications intercepted from Chinese officials clearly indicate that the country has a plan to force U.S. aviation to grind to a halt, said Trump spokesman Sean Spicer. “The President is aware of it, and he’s going to do everything in his power to stop it. He’s considering a geo-fence between the U.S. and China … and he’s going to make the Chinese pay for it.” Spice said.
But the Tweet predictably drew fire from some media sources, calling it “Fake News.” MSNBC said that they have been reporting for years that it is the Saudi government buying up everything through Chinese shell companies, but nobody was watching so it was largely ignored. The Huffington Post ran a 14-page article repeating “Trump is a LIAR!” over and over again. Meanwhile CNN and Fox News brought on aviation “experts” who droned on endlessly about the implications of Chinese vs U.S. aviation, with incomprehensible messages crawling across the bottom of the screen.
The Chinese embassy did not return calls for comment, and the United Nations passed a resolution condemning the U.S. for its domination of the world’s aviation market.
On college campuses across the country, students asked for coloring books and comforting puppies when they realized they would not be able to fly to Aspen or Vail for their ski vacations, or get to Panama City for spring break next year.
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