Columbia Widower: If Family Had Died In Plane Crash, History
Would Have Been Changed
Six weeks before the
shuttle Columbia launched from the Kennedy Space Center on its
last, doomed mission, STS-107 astronaut Laurel Clark and her
husband, NASA flight surgeon Jon, were flying along with their son,
eight-year old Iain, in their Beechcraft Bonanza. They were headed
from their home in Houston (TX) to Laurel's parents house in
Albuquerque (NM) for Christmas when they ran into severe turbulence
over West Texas. Laurel got airsick for the first time in her life.
Jon tried to land the aircraft, but hit a strong wind shear on
final. The B-36 was slammed onto the pavement, departed the runway
and collided with an embankment. All three Clarks walked away from
the accident unhurt, but the aircraft was completely destroyed.
Now, Jon wishes they'd been killed in that incident.
"I've lamented about that, wishing that we had all just died
because then it would have changed the course of history. They
wouldn't have launched," Clark said. Even though he and his family
would have been killed in the West Texas accident, he says, the
other six astronauts aboard Columbia would have survived because
the accident would have scrubbed the mission.
A Young Boy's Premonition?
Between the runway incident and Columbia's final mission, Jon
says Iain became afraid to fly -- and afraid to let his mother fly.
At the Cape for the Columbia launch on January 16th, 2003, Iain
cried. When he talked to his mother via radio link during the
mission, he complained often about her leaving. Jon thinks his
son's angst might have been some sort of premonition.
After the crash, after the initial shock, Jon, Iain and other
crewmembers' families were flying back to Houston on a NASA jet.
Jon says he was playing cards with his son to distract him when, as
they passed over the East Texas debris field, Iain suddenly put
down his cards and looked out the window. He waived.
"Iain, what are you
doing?" Clark asked.
"I'm waving goodbye to Mommy," he said. "I felt her."
Dr. Jon Clark's training in psychiatry has helped him deal with
the grief -- both his and Iain's. But Clark admits he's no child
psychologist.
"I am not a child grief person," he says. "That's why instead of
soccer games, we go to the psychologists in the afternoons. He's
gone through that denial-bargaining phase where he's trying to
invent a time machine to go back and warn her, or clone her."
Iain also asks his father, "Why didn't they listen to that
engineer?" He's asking about a NASA flight engineer who was deeply
worried about the possible damage to the shuttle's wing caused by
that falling chunk of foam. But the engineer didn't express his
concerns to the right people. His worries were never acted
upon.
T hat question, says Clark, breaks his heart.
"Well, you know, honey," he gently tells Iain, "it's like at
school when you don't listen to the teacher and she really knows
that this is the thing you need to do to not get hurt, but you
don't listen. That's kind of like what NASA is doing. They're the
child that doesn't listen to somebody who might know better."
Dr. Clark still works for NASA. He's become a strong advocate
for changing the safety culture that he says contributed to the
Columbia accident. He says he nags Administrator O'Keefe about it
every chance he gets. While the space agency chief is very
deferential, Clark says, he continues to badger.
"I... realize that actions speak louder than words and I don't
want to hear about it. I want to see it."
FMI: www.nasa.gov