Seeking to increase his customer base among Bizjet owners throughout the world, Aero-Entrepreneur Vern Raburn has introduced his latest new design... an aircraft that maximizes the return on investment his company has made, so far, in developing the twin engine Eclipse 500 microjet. Raburn (who is rumored to have been a great fan of such WWII aircraft as the F-82) noted that, "We envisioned the Eclipse 1000 as a dual role aircraft (hence, our new dual logo...) -- the first as an excellent, if unique, trainer for pilots looking to become Bizjet owner/flyers for the first time (and to give them an authentic single pilot feel throughout the training process), and the other for whom the Eclipse 500 was only about half of what they needed."

In a stunning change of events that has floored virtually every general aviation pilot alive, and has all the other ones flipping over in their graves, Phil Boyer, the wildly popular President of the Aircraft Owners and Pilots Association (AOPA), has announced his resignation from the organization. The reason? He has accepted an offer to join Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's re-election campaign. As campaign manager, no less. Boyer will helm the Daley Re-Election Korps (D.A.R.K.), and revealed his intentions in a surprise news conference this morning at his Fredericksburg office.

Even though the clamor has died down somewhat over whether or not President Bush completed his proper service commitment to the Alabama Air National Guard, the leader of the USA has decided to return to the cockpit. White House spokesman Scott McClellan confirmed that President Bush had been training "...for a few weeks... We've installed a full motion F-16 simulator in the West Wing and the president has made good use of it. He says that the transition from the F-102 to the F-16 has not been all that difficult and is looking forward to getting back to duty as soon as possible. He wants there to be no questions as to whether he owes the American people any more military service."

Skystar's Ed Downs says that, "It was time to develop an airplane for the sport flyer who didn't care if Sport Pilot EVER showed up. And boy howdy, we did just that." What Downs is talking about the new Super Kitfox Turbo-Prop... a two seat, side by side, SportPlane that guarantees that, "You'll never lose a short take-off contest to anyone but a Bell Jet Ranger."

After hearing literally hundreds of complaints about the high price of admission for its annual AirVenture event, the EAA has decided to amend its policy for the 2004 show. However, it may not be to everyone's liking. The organization just announced that it will no longer charge an admission price for the event. However, to compensate for this loss of income, EAA officials advised that there will be a "nominal "increase" in concession prices.

Birchwood, Alaska, Antares designer Sergey Zozulya has just returned with his highly modified Antares Trike to report the news of 'possibly' breaking the world speed record between Birchwood, Alaska and Los Angeles. After undergoing therapy from suffering what may be described as wind damage to the lower jaw and cheek and temporary hearing loss along with shoulder and elbow dislocations encountered during the historic flight, Mr. Zozulya excitedly explains, “My total time flight was one hour forty two minutes, thirteen seconds.”

BRS, Inc., the world's leading maker or whole-aircraft emergency parachutes, has announced a sweepstakes that will run throughout 2004. "It's because of the saves," an insider told Aero-News on condition of anonymity. "People are flying less, and they're flying more carefully. They don't do nearly as much dumb [expletive] like fly ultralights into thunderstorms and try to aerobat stuff made from lawn-chair factory seconds. This adds up to fewer deployments. We'll never see our next big milestone of 200 saves if we don't take action. How can we save people unless they have an incentive to try to kill themselves?"

AEA 2004: Klyde Does His Thing Every Day For The AEA Annual TradeShow!

You've seen JImmy Franklin fly it around the country and doing things never thought possible with a normal Waco biplane. Now, you can have your very own jet-powered Waco!. Jimmy Franklin, the renowned airshow performer, has decided to mass produced a line of aircraft based on his highly modified airplane. So, what's stopping you from buying one?

As the 2004 presidential campaign continues into what promises to be a long, hot political summer, the American symbol of peace and democracy has become something of a hot-button item. At issue: the Bush administration's plans to reconfigure the aircraft. "I believe the aircraft should reflect the president," said Chief of Staff Andrew Card. "Therefore, we're researching the installation of a second right wing."

NASA this week widened the search for a shuttle replacement -- making a point of talking with designers from the outer regions of what Ronald Reagan used to call the "Evil Empire." Perhaps the most innovative suggestion comes from Belgrade, Serbia: Modify and fly the Yugo. NASA spokesman Bruce Buckingham says it's no joke.

Famous Atheist Michael Newdow, fresh from his Supreme Court campaign to strip "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance, has filed suit against the estate of Transoceanic Airlines Captain Myles Lucky. Lucky was one of 88 persons who perished when a Transoceanic jet flying a military charter crashed April 1, 1989 in Gander, Newfoundland. The root of Newdow's case is that Captain Lucky's last words, recorded on the CVR of the ill-fated DC-8, were, "Oh, my God!"

Shock-jock Howard Stern and radio's right wingnut, Rush Limbaugh, were secretely parachuted into Iraq early this week, military sources tell ANN. The decision to send both radio personalities into the war-torn country was made at the highest levels of the Pentagon and the FCC.

Former Senator Jean Carnahan, wife of the late Gov. Mel Carnahan (right), has made legal history by returning the $4 million award that a Kansas City jury awarded her and members of her family against Parker-Hannafin. The award was meant to compensate the Carnahan's for the alleged negligence of Parker and several other defendants in the death of her husband, the late Gov. Mel Carnahan, her son Randy and a third party travelling in Randy's Cessna 335 when it crashed during the worst weather seen in the state in quite some time.

A number of Mini-500 helicopter airframes that have been missing since the contentious bankruptcy of developer Revolution Helicopter, Inc. of Excelsior Springs, MO, turned up in an unlikely place: buried under tons of sand at Iraq's al-Taqqadum air base, west of Baghdad. A White House statement said, "President George W. Bush always believed that the Iraqis were concealing weapons of mass destruction. This is proof enough for us. And no, the President might be a pilot, but he isn't flying THAT."

For the first time since a hostile takeover led by the Gambini family, Mob Air Tuesday took to the skies, promising to revolutionize low-cost passenger flight, "or else."

Environmentalists across the world mourned "Suzy," an endangered Piping Plover, as the entire US Air Force was grounded indefinitely for what Chief of Staff Jack Ripper called "An unprecedented Environmental Impact Standdown." =A three-judge panel of the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ordered the move while considering a lawsuit by an environmental group. The lawsuit charges that the Air Force should not be allowed to fly until it proves it can do so without harming wildlife, including birds and bugs. "We expect the suit to prevail," Judge Berkely J. Bong wrote in the landmark opinion. "After all, birds are people too."

After forcing airlines to enact crazy policies that prohibit passengers from standing up in airliners or waiting in line for the use of the toilet during long-haul flights, the TSA has just enacted a new rule that would prohibit passengers from complaining about the carrier's level of service. The agency claims those that don't like typical airline amenities like small seats, crabby flight attendants or lost baggage are disturbing the peace and causing undue aggression. For this reason, no passenger will be allowed to complain about airline service at anytime commencing from the seat is purchased until bags have been collected a the destination point.

The FAA says a competition that officials had hoped would end forever issues of ATC fatigue, pay and benefits, has ended with results less than what they hoped for. "The idea here was to further automate the ATC system," said FAA Administrator Marion Blakey. "Robots could stay in the tower 24/7. They don't demand raises, they don't take breaks and they don't whine about insurance benefits. This is a promising concept."

Recent photos leaked to the media have forced military officials to deal with an alarming epidemic of cracks revealed by helicopter maintenance crews, when inspecting their aircraft (ANN Note: See photo, below, but be sure to check the enlarged version to 'assess' the true impact of the problem).

US Airways CEO David Siegel is reportedly out, apparently having lost control of the company in a high-stakes poker game.

Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University has received a special grant from NASA and the FAA to develop faster than light technology or FTL as it is called. NASA and FAA officials agree that the "Harvard of the Skies" is considered the finest aviation/aeronautical school in the world. There is no shortage of creativity and genius on the staff and with many of the students. The joint press release on the FTL project states "we feel Embry Riddle is the best place to have this project brought to fruition." E-RAU won the two trillion dollar grant over several other contenders including MIT and the US Air Force Academy.

After years of forced slave labor by the Sun-'n-Fun Fly-in organizers, event volunteers have decided to picket in front of the fly-in's main gate later this month. Some of the long-time volunteers are complaining about the low pay and inedible lunch meat, while the younger workers complain that organizers promised them the event was a "pick-up spot."

While its low-budget carrier has seen some limited success, Delta airline's newest venture promises to be "real cool." Called Swang Song, Delta's newest low-budget spinoff picks-up where Song left off. Named after a famous Led Zeppelin album, Swan Song will offer passengers a trip back in time to the 1960's. From miniskirt-clad flight attendants to the complimentary "herbal" tea, Swan Song promises to be an experience like no other.

Charred and twisted aluminum littered the scene yesterday after a Washington press conference lapsed into chaos. The aluminum came from the tinfoil hats worn by cranks who argued over the cause of the explosion of TWA Flight 800 in 1996. Conspiracy theorist Nigel Von Braun held the press conference to announce that the cause of the explosion was "Resonance. The fundamental frequency of the forks in business class meals was F two octaves below middle C; that was the same frequency as the fuel tank. Some guy hit the edge of his fork against the seatback table, and boom. We have been neglectful of the fork fundamental frequency hazard."

A Dallas-based Dating service that offered an aviation twist to the age-old dating game remained closed today after federal agents seized its records last week. Captain Date promised well-bred young women dates with high-earning American Airlines captains and first officers. But because the service did little or no fact checking, the girls wound up paired with lowly regional pilots, freight dogs, and in one case a $9/hr flight instructor who ate nothing but Heinz Baked Beans for a year.

"OK, folks... ANN did not suddenly lose its mind (though, there ARE moments... oh, never mind). Check the DATE. 04.01.04. It's April FIRST... a/k/a APRIL Fool's Day. Get It? If you believed ANY of this stuff, you have been fooled, bamboozled, and otherwise become yet another victim of our annual attempt to enjoy the First day Of April with a little imagination and a LOT of nonsense. We hope you enjoyed it as much as we did." Source: ANN's Jim Campbell, making sure that ANN readers checked the date before they got too involved in any of the stories we publish on April 1st of each year. Happy April Fool's Day!

Tartan Air Lines announced this week its 1Q 04 results, reporting profits up steeply and declaring a dividend of 43 cents a share, for the first time in the history of the no-frills airline. "Outsourcing is the key," CEO Edmund McBargan told analysts during a conference call. Tartan has always outsourced indirect cost centers such as ticketing, customer service, information technology, and baggage claim, mostly with long-time outsourcing partner Pilotless Technology of Mumbai and Delhi, India. The change that brought the airline new levels of profit is the actual outsourcing of piloting tasks. "It happens at the point where the UAV technology vector intersects the cost of labour vector," University of Minnesota economist Andy Borowitz explained. "At that point, you are d

Passengers on a British Airways 747 inbound from London's Heathrow Airport to Atlanta were treated to a not-so-rare display of military hardware when they were intercepted by Air Force F-15's some 250 miles off the eastern seaboard last night. The pair of fighters, armed to the teeth and then some, were dispatched after the captain of the BA flight reported that one of his cabin crew was having trouble with a passenger, 70-year-old Thelma Mae Johnson, a resident of the small town of Sweetwater, Georgia, who had been visiting her sister just outside London.

Rush Limbaugh has received a special issuance third class medical and student pilot certificate from the Federal Aviation Administration's AeroMedical Office. While we admit that the fact that Rush Limbaugh wants to learn to fly is in and of itself a newsworthy item, we at ANN were rather astounded by the time it took for the special issuance medical to be issued, considering the circumstances. Today is April 1st. The application was forwarded by Mr. Limbaugh's AME to Oklahoma City on March 23rd. You do the math.

AD NUMBER: 2103-04-01 MANUFACTURER: Millennium Starship Systems, Inc. SUBJECT: Airworthiness Directive 2103-04-01 SUMMARY: This amendment supersedes Airworthiness Directive (AD) 2103-26-16, which applies to certain Millennium Starship Systems, Inc. (Millennium) Models B2, J3, and G4 series hyperspace transport vehicles (HSVs). AD 2103-26-16 requires you to inspect for missing laser-rivets on the right hand side of the warp containment vessel and, if necessary, re-install using friction stir-welded assemblies.