Fri, Aug 08, 2003
FBI's List of Things to Watch For
It's not a good idea to try to put one over on the FBI. They'll
figure it out, and publish a report on it.
If you're wondering why
you're being treated like a terrorist, that's because the TSA's
finest all have this little booklet. You can have one, too, in case
you want to know what you're really looking at, as you
peek into that old lady's purse.
- A house key? Not a chance -- it's a folding knife.
- A ballpoint pen? Wrong again, Sherlock -- it's a .22
- A ceramic-blade knife, transparent to x-rays, may have
cost your dearly at the Kyocera factory outlet store, but you're
gonna have to leave it behind (if you don't get arrested).
- Some dummy apparently even tried to smuggle a tiny knife
inside... a handgun cartridge. [Add to that, the headstamp -- on
this supposed handgun cartridge -- reads, ".30-06 SPRG"
--ed.] It's easier, but no smarter, to hide a knife blade in a
shotgun shell; there's one example of that, too.
- Of course, there are other "spy" tools, like the "cigarette
lighter" knife. (As 'Our Man Flint' said, "It has 33 death-dealing
uses... 34 if you count lighting cigarettes.")
So, when you think that the screeners are just being paranoid as
they probe and humiliate 80-year-old Medal of Honor winners, think
again. That Rosary may not be just to insure safe landings...
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