Announces Latest Missteps In Never-Ending Race To Bottom Of CSI Rankings

Attention, US Airways: it appears you have some serious competition for the title of Stingiest Major US Carrier. Starting next month, United Airlines will stop handing out free pretzels and cookies to coach fliers across North America... and will even drop free meal service in business class on most flights.

"In the wake of high fuel prices and a challenging economic environment, we must continue to examine every aspect of our business and find new ways to improve our day-to-day operations through efficiencies that still meet our customers' expectations," reads a memo to United employees, obtained Monday by The San Francisco Chronicle.

That memo, incidentally, is titled "Catering Changes Provide Value and Options." Still more examples of "value and options" on United flights include higher prices for buy-on-board meals, although passengers will have more choices on what to spend their hard-earned $7 on.

The airline will also stop offering complimentary meals to coach-class passengers on international flights, and will do away with snacks given to passengers on longer trans-continental flights. The airline notes that doing away with free meal service in business class will also allow United to use fewer flight attendants.

United spokeswoman Robin Urbanski called the changes "difficult but necessary," adding "we are looking at everything we need to do to offset fuel prices, which are still skyrocketing."

(In a related note... after falling to as low as $112 Monday, oil prices rebounded to around $115 per barrel in trading Tuesday. That's a healthy increase, but still far off the $147 high seen earlier this year -- Ed.)

At least one analyst questioned United's latest attempt to, presumably, lose business. "These moves are flat-out stupid," said Forrester Research's Henry Harteveldt to the Chronicle. "The savings they will get doing away with lunch in business class -- they will lose more than that when corporations yank business.

"The challenging thing about business is that whether things are good or bad, you have to invest in your product for the sake of keeping customers and to make it harder for competitors to catch up with you," Harteveldt added. "This does nothing to encourage people to pay more because you give more. They really make me question whether the inmates have taken control of the asylum."

Insert Glenn Tilton joke here.

FMI: www.united.com