Other, Non-Aviation Related Goodies Galore Can Be Found

Everyone comes to Oshkosh for different reasons but certainly many come for the new products; to replenish their stock of expendables, to find that rare part that can’t be bought from a catalog or just to watch some fantastic flying. Exhibition hangars are filled with endless toys that can lighten the wallet pretty fast and push Mother’s birthday gift to the back burner. But wait…not so fast! There is no excuse not to buy that gift for the non-aviation person in your life.

While wandering through the four large exhibition hangars I eventually noticed quite a few vendors who would look more at home at the county fair than at an airshow. Their products have no connection to the aviation community unless one makes the argument that a massage chair is needed after a long cross-country flight. If you have to appease the non-aviator in the family for the opportunity to spend money on the latest, next, best gadget, (and to be politically correct, that person is of the female persuasion), there is no shortage of Jewelry vendors on the grounds. Need a swing for the back porch? You can find them at Oshkosh. Almost paid $2500 for that one. Need a pair of cheap sunglasses, not suitable for flying… there are plenty to choose from. I did stop to see how the EZ Bun worked. Apparently you just Roll-Pull-Roll according to the poster behind the girl giving a demonstration. Many of these vendors are in booths located right next to aviation ones located in the main exhibition hangars, not just bunched together in the Fly Mart where one would expect to find these oddball products.

I had to scratch my head when I saw a booth that was selling sheets for your bed, but these weren’t just any sheets, these sheets had a thread count of 1800 threads per inch. Is that even possible? Do they use fatter threads if you only have 300 threads per inch? Wouldn’t that be better? I think I like fat threads. What are they using for these 1800 threads per inch sheets, spider webs? Microfilament? Nanotechnology?

I felt them and they were soft. I liked them a lot. I called my wife back to have a look. She threw me that look. You know, that look that says you are out of your league buddy. I made her feel them too. She said they were as soft as the ones she buys at Wal-Mart. I didn’t even ask the price. They won’t be cheaper than Wal-Mart and I don’t want to take a job away from a toddler.

On day one when my feet were hurting we stopped at one of the massage chair booths. There is a least one in every large hangar. I could use one of these in my airplane but where would I plug it in? I sat down and the massage I got on my feet was heavenly. I wanted one. Normal price was $8500 but for me, only today, the salesman would cut the price to $4500 and throw in shipping and setup. My feet really hurt and I reached for my credit card. Something stopped me but it wasn’t my wife. For once she was agreeing with this ridiculous expenditure and justifying it. Her feet hurt too. We were able to walk away without paying twice the amount that my government has required me to pay by 2020, for a piece of equipment that does nothing for me in my 1947 Stinson. I almost went back but better judgment prevailed.

(Editor's note: Overall, Tom says he had bought a $100 worth of screws and six inspection covers prior to writing this piece. He says resisted buying several of the massage chairs, the $2500 porch swing, and his wife didn’t ask for any jewelry. But there's always next year.)

(Staff images)

FMI: www.airventure.org