Scraps E-Flight; "Thirstier Is Better!" New Mantra
ANN APRIL 1st "SPECIAL"
EDITION: The leadership of Sonex Aircraft, LLC announced
Tuesday a new initiative to further increase sales in the United
States by opting to pursue a more proven, heavier-traveled road in
the quest for commerce: marketing products which demand higher fuel
In a morning press conference hosted by an extremely
enthusiastic Wittman Regional Airport FBO and fuel supplier, Sonex
Aircraft, LLC Founder and President John Monnett pledged to follow
the lead of domestic auto manufacturers, further validated by the
line of heavy duty import trucks and sport utility vehicles, in
providing high fuel-burn vehicles to the American consumer. Monnett
unveiled a new program, dubbed the I-Flight Initiative.
"The Experimental aircraft fleet in this country is filled with
aircraft and engines which burn 8-10 gph or more in cruise, and
demand for these aircraft doesn¹t seem to be slowing down in
the least," stated Monnett. "I want to give the flying public the
aircraft that they¹ve been asking for, and getting from other
manufacturers, all these years."
"Sometimes I think that we really missed the boat allowing
ourselves to get distracted by all that silly E-Flight stuff at
Oshkosh last year," confided Sonex CEO Jeremy Monnett. "I feel that
enough time has passed since the unveiling of our E-Flight
Initiative at EAA AirVenture Oshkosh 2007 that folks will probably
forgive us for just dropping the whole thing, assuming they haven't
completely forgotten about it by now. Additionally, this new
Inefficiency Initiative will just be a hell of a lot easier to
Company officials did not downplay the role of the current
presidential campaign season in this new strategy, expressing
disappointment that global warming has not played a more
significant role in the election. "Besides, most of our
conservative customer demographic doesn't seem to have much
patience for those tree hugger types, anyway," concluded John
Tuesday's press conference also featured the unveiling of an
exciting new Sonex research and development prototype. While not a
completely new aircraft, the Jabiru 3300-powered Sonex built and
owned by Sonex employee Kerry Fores was heavily modified as part of
the first steps for this new fuel Inefficiency Initiative.
All 1/8 inch NPT fuel fittings and hoses have been replaced by
industrial fire suppression hose and fittings, the gascolator has
been replaced by a new high-capacity filtration system custom-built
for the project by Culligan (note: the official "Culligan Man"
spokesman announced later their new aviation division will soon
unveil plans to make high-capacity fuel filter systems available
via Wicks Aircraft Supply and Aircraft Spruce and Specialty) and
the AeroCarb's ultra fuel-efficient, no-float body with
fine-tunable needle assembly has been removed and replaced by a
float chamber fabricated from the technologically-advanced 5-liter
Heineken Draught Keg.
"Man that six cylinder engine sure can suck fuel when fitted
with a float carb," remarked Fores.
"We considered other sources for float chambers, but procurement
of the Heineken unit was significantly more enjoyable," he
continued. It wasn't all fun and games, however, as Sonex insiders
reported an incident with the international relations team tasked
with float bowl procurement, in which Sonex Warehouse Manager Jason
Algra was nearly killed by the blonde dancing Heineken robot after
having made an inquiry regarding her sister.
The new prototype has
not gone without its own share of growing pains, however. The
aircraft's cowl cooling inlets are soon to be closed-off in an
effort to bring temperatures back up to a level that will not
endanger the longevity of the engine.
"The laser-cut and pre-formed high volume Universal Jabiru
Cooling Baffle kit keep the CHT's and oil temperatures ice cold
when running our new hyper-rich mixture setup to maximize fuel
consumption," commented Fores, "The engine actually had
condensation on it after I landed from yesterday's test flight."
Similar provisions are being planned for the first I-Flight AeroVee
powered prototype aircraft. In an unexpected move, Sonex lead
engineer Pete Buck unveiled calculations showing that a shortened
exhaust fitted with a 100LL afterburner will actually help solve
the engine cooling problem, while further increasing fuel burn and
contributing approximately 1.5 percent more thrust.
"This represents a very small step in the right direction,"
commented John Monnett. "I won't be happy until we're burning over
35 gallons per hour, however. This may finally give me
justification to build a jet after all these years!"